Now our usual bag would be to list you some mighty fine hen party accessories, and tell you why you need to purchase them. Today though we’d thought we’d go down a different angle, and instead offer you this random excerpt from a male member of our team on his views of hen party accessories – not that you have to take any notice of him, of course (and why would you anyway, ladies).

“Willies. So much penis. When did it become acceptable for grown and respectable (ish) women to parade around our city centres with giant inflatable genitalia? I can’t really see a bunch of stag parties with a blow-up vagina, though to be honest, they do far worse so I better keep that door closed. I suppose they’re not doing anyone any harm, and only the easily-offended may get bothered, but then they would, hence the name.

When I am sober and commuting to and from work, if I see a hen party I do tend to avoid them. I am not sure what it is, but a part of me envisions getting sucked in – and not in a good way. Though, this may just be wishful thinking. To be honest I avoid most drunken gangs while I still have my work clothes on, and most of it is just down to envy more than anything.

It takes a fair old whack to shock me, and none of your hen party accessories have succeeded in doing this so far. Of course, there are ones that are more vulgar than others, but for your typical British hen party, isn’t that the point these days? If we (we being men) are truly honest, there is something quite flattering about the whole penis obsession; we like that you enjoy the phallic form so much that you choose to don it in any way possible.

Whether you want to wear matching t-shirts, tiaras, wigs, or sashes you do that – some of you are not very pretty, so you may not get another chance to wear a sash (not that we’d say that to your face). Honestly though, from a fairly normal male to a group of raucous hens, you go on doing your pink feather emblazoned, Bacardi-swigging antics, we’re really not judging. And if you want to drink your drinks through a penis-shaped straw all evening, go ahead, our stag parties are surely going to be doing a lot more inexcusables anyway.”

As varied as they can be, there are still a lot of essentials that all hen parties have. There are things that no matter where you are, or who you are with, you cannot miss out on your hen party – these are the must-haves before you even think of any detailed hen party ideas! Having your nearest and dearest there is one of those things, of course; the next thing is probably alcohol, that doesn’t mean you all necessarily have to get slaughtered, but it will feature at some point in some way; the last thing you most certainly need is music, and that’s why we have compiled a hen party playlist worthy of your celebrations!

Ernie K-doe – Here Comes the Girls

We thought this was an appropriate place to start, not only does it give you and your hens a quite literal introduction, but it’s great for starting off a party. This song has been used in all kinds of advertising as a backdrop to woman strutting their stuff, so why not have it in yours? Here comes the good times!

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want to Have Fun

It may actually be a crime not to have this included in your hen party! This classic has blessed many a birthday, kids party, or just Saturday night as you’re getting ready with the girls! Just do as Cyndi tells you and get down to this iconic track!

Pink – Get This Party Started

We have another quite literal instalment on this playlist from Pink on how to get this party started! We know you do not need much encouragement, but everyone will be on the dance floor when this track comes on. Pink represents the feisty and vivacious women inside all of you so this track is spot-on!

LaBelle – Lady Marmelade

Now of course you can have the modern version with Christina, Mya, Lil Kim and Pink (again) but we have opted for this classic as it packs a real soul-filled punch! This saucy song features the famous French bedroom proposal, but stick this on and it will be all about you and your sexy girls!

Sinitta – So Macho

‘He’s got to be big and strong, enough to turn you on’ – or so Sinitta kindly informs us! We are sure you are not short of macho men in your life and this corny hit from the 1980s is a real sing-along! Get in a group with your hens and flex those biceps to mock the not-so-macho men of the world.

Sister Sledge - We Are Family

By now, the drinks will really be flowing and the bonds of sisterhood will be at their strongest; this is then an opportune moment to belt out this disco classic and scream ‘We are family! I got all my sisters with me.’ As this song is played at nearly every wedding party as well, it’s good to get some practice in!

Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

This song gets murdered up and down the country on a daily basis, it is THE karaoke classic! As a result of this, every one of your hens is going to know it word for word, which will make for a real kodak moment (not a video recorder, as that has sound) when the whole hen party goes a bit Glee!

 Respect – Aretha Franklin

An absolute belter from the soul queen herself, Aretha Franklin. As you are essentially celebrating a prelude to the wedding, we are sure all your girls will be wishing your marriage is full of R-E-S-P-E-C-T – just make sure they save some for themselves!

The Dixie Cups – Chapel of Love

We tried to avoid it we really did, then we thought, actually… that would be wrong! There is no getting away from the lyrics of this song, and they make for a highly appropriate track to finish your hen party celebrations on. Maybe you’re not actually getting married in a chapel, but ‘going to the registry office’ doesn’t flow quite so well.

These are of course just a selection of the songs we could have chosen! You get the idea though – stick with female empowerment, disco classics, a few luvvies, and you will be fine!