Now our usual bag would be to list you some mighty fine hen party accessories, and tell you why you need to purchase them. Today though we’d thought we’d go down a different angle, and instead offer you this random excerpt from a male member of our team on his views of hen party accessories – not that you have to take any notice of him, of course (and why would you anyway, ladies).
“Willies. So much penis. When did it become acceptable for grown and respectable (ish) women to parade around our city centres with giant inflatable genitalia? I can’t really see a bunch of stag parties with a blow-up vagina, though to be honest, they do far worse so I better keep that door closed. I suppose they’re not doing anyone any harm, and only the easily-offended may get bothered, but then they would, hence the name.
When I am sober and commuting to and from work, if I see a hen party I do tend to avoid them. I am not sure what it is, but a part of me envisions getting sucked in – and not in a good way. Though, this may just be wishful thinking. To be honest I avoid most drunken gangs while I still have my work clothes on, and most of it is just down to envy more than anything.
It takes a fair old whack to shock me, and none of your hen party accessories have succeeded in doing this so far. Of course, there are ones that are more vulgar than others, but for your typical British hen party, isn’t that the point these days? If we (we being men) are truly honest, there is something quite flattering about the whole penis obsession; we like that you enjoy the phallic form so much that you choose to don it in any way possible.
Whether you want to wear matching t-shirts, tiaras, wigs, or sashes you do that – some of you are not very pretty, so you may not get another chance to wear a sash (not that we’d say that to your face). Honestly though, from a fairly normal male to a group of raucous hens, you go on doing your pink feather emblazoned, Bacardi-swigging antics, we’re really not judging. And if you want to drink your drinks through a penis-shaped straw all evening, go ahead, our stag parties are surely going to be doing a lot more inexcusables anyway.”
